Dear North Dakota, Can Someone Else Shovel This Year?

It’s not even winter yet, and I’m already considering handing my shovel to the nearest teenager. Let’s be honest: snow shoveling is where “age is just a number” takes a sharp turn into reality. While the spirit might be willing, the body says, “Not today, my friend.”

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Sure, there’s something magical about the first snow—until you realize it’s heavier than it looks. Wet snow can weigh as much as 16 pounds per shovelful. That’s like hauling a subcompact car out of your driveway one scoop at a time! And unlike a treadmill workout, shoveling keeps you in one spot, which can trick your heart into overexertion without proper circulation.

For those of us who’ve been around long enough to remember life before email, shoveling isn’t just a chore—it’s a cardiovascular gauntlet. Good Housekeeping recently reported that studies have shown that snowstorms cause a spike in heart attacks, especially for men over 50. Why? Because snow shoveling combines the perfect storm of static exertion, heavy lifting, and cold air constricting your blood vessels.

Now, before you panic and run for the Florida real estate ads, there are ways to make snow removal safer:

1. Hire the Neighbor Kid: There’s no shame in outsourcing! Pay the young whippersnapper next door to save your back and heart.
2. Push, Don’t Lift: Shove that snow aside instead of flinging it over your shoulder like a wannabe Olympian.
3. Layer Up: Protect yourself from the cold with hats, gloves, and a scarf.
4. Take Breaks: Shovel for a bit, then rest—your driveway isn’t going anywhere.
5. Invest in a Snow Blower: Let technology do the heavy lifting, but still take it slow.

Most importantly, listen to your body. Any discomfort from your belly button up is your cue to quit and seek help. Winter may bring its challenges, but with the right approach, you’ll make it through snow season in one piece. Or better yet—just wait for spring!