Ah, the Fourth of July, that enchanted time of year when the deafening explosions of fireworks shatter the serene peace of North Dakota

Nothing says "freedom" quite like a relentless barrage of pyrotechnics that start well before Independence Day and drag on well into mid-July.

Obviously, city and county ordinances are just suggesting that fireworks are limited to the 4th of July through the 5th of July at 1:00 am.

Let’s not forget the sheer joy it brings to everyone, especially our military veterans and beloved pets.

For some military veterans, these impromptu firework displays are a delightful trip down memory lane of the literal hellscape that is war.

What better way to say "thank you for your service" than by triggering their PTSD with random explosions at all hours of the night?

Who needs a restful night's sleep when a sudden, jarring boom that makes you think of combat zones can jolt you awake?

Surely, they appreciate this thoughtful commemoration of their sacrifices.

And then there are the animals. Dogs, cats, and birds all absolutely adore fireworks.

There's nothing they enjoy more than cowering in fear under furniture, trembling uncontrollably, or bolting away in terror.

The symphony of whimpers, howls, and frantic scratching is just their way of expressing joy, right?

Pet owners must be over the moon as they comfort their petrified companions, all while imagining the lovely fireworks display they’re missing outside.

But why limit the festivities to just one day? Let's start the fireworks extravaganza in mid-June and extend it well past July 4th.

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After all, it’s not a proper celebration unless the entire neighborhood is subjected to a month-long cacophony of bangs, pops, and sizzles.

Who needs peace and quiet when you can have the incessant thrill of wondering when the next explosion will shatter the night?

 

The annual influx of fireworks in North Dakota is a cherished tradition that brings joy to so many.

From triggering PTSD in veterans, scarring those with sensory issues, terrifying animals, and even polluting our beautiful state, it’s a wonder we don’t celebrate with fireworks every day.

If your definition of freedom means that you are an unmitigated Oedipus, then hats off to you.

 

So, let’s embrace this sensory assault and remind ourselves that nothing says "happy birthday, America" like weeks of incessant, random explosions.

What a treat!

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