Breaking News: North Dakota Discovers Revolutionary Car Feature!

North Dakota, June 28, 2024 - In an astonishing turn of events (pun intended), drivers in North Dakota have recently uncovered a groundbreaking feature on their vehicles. This revolutionary device, known as the "blinker" or "turn signal," is said to have the mystical ability to communicate a driver’s intention to turn or change lanes. Yes, you read that right.

After years of speculation and countless fender benders, local researchers have confirmed that the little lever sticking out of the steering column isn't just for decoration. It’s actually designed to notify other drivers of your directional intentions. Imagine that!

For those new to this avant-garde concept, here’s a step-by-step guide on how to harness the power of the blinker:

1. Locate the Blinker Lever: The blinker lever is typically found on the left side of the steering column. Yes, that little stick you’ve been using to hang your air freshener or scratch your back has a higher purpose.
2. Engage the Blinker: Push the lever up to signal a right turn. Push it down to signal a left turn. This action will trigger a series of flashes on your car's exterior lights. These flashes are not, I repeat, NOT, an electrical malfunction.
3. Advanced Maneuver: Lane Changes: The blinker can also be used to indicate lane changes. Before you abruptly swerve into the next lane, engage the lever in the direction you wish to move. This will alert other drivers of your impending maneuver, potentially reducing their urge to honk angrily.
4. Timing is Everything: For optimal results, activate your blinker at least 100 feet before your turn or lane change. This gives fellow drivers enough time to process the shocking news that you’re planning to change direction.
5. Turn It Off: After completing your turn or lane change, manually return the lever to its neutral position if it doesn't automatically reset. This prevents unnecessary blinking and potential confusion about your next move.

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Local authorities are encouraging drivers to experiment with this newly discovered feature, suggesting that widespread use could revolutionize driving in North Dakota. Early adopters have reported a significant reduction in near-misses and exasperated eye-rolls from fellow motorists.

So, there you have it, North Dakota!

The blinker: a small lever with the power to transform our roads. Use it wisely, and may your driving be forever enlightened.

Happy driving.