Debunking The Myth: Real Christmas Trees Are A Cherished Traditio

You may have seen THIS article on our website, but let's get a couple of things clear....

1. The author doesn't even go here.

2. Their appropriation of the quote from the second greatest Christmas movie of all time (just behind Die Hard) is an affront to everything Christmas. It reads "Griswold, where are you going to put a tree that big?" "Bend over...I'll show you!"

You’d think they'd at least try to stay in touch with reality, but let’s break down how everything in this article is not just wrong but entirely out of touch with actual holiday spirit.

1. Real Christmas Trees Aren’t "A Big Effort" – They're a Holiday Tradition

The article claims that setting up a real tree is “quite the endeavor” and “almost seems like it’s not even worth it” if you wait too long. Well, guess what, artificial tree lovers? The act of getting a real tree is the holiday experience! It’s about going to the tree farm (or finding a local seller), picking out that perfect tree, and hauling it back home—possibly while singing carols, if you’re really into the Christmas spirit. This isn't a chore; it’s a cherished ritual, a memory-making activity. No one ever talks about the “magical memories” made by dragging a plastic, pre-lit monstrosity out of a box. The only thing that’ll be memorable about that is how easily you’ll forget about it in storage for 11 months.

And, as for the so-called "effort" of decorating, do we really want to live in a world where the hardest part of our holiday is placing a tree in a stand? If that’s your version of suffering, maybe you should just skip Christmas altogether and go live in a cardboard box under a highway overpass.

2. The "Bugs" Myth: Busted

Ah, yes, the infamous bug scare. The article claims that a single real Christmas tree can harbor up to 25,000 bugs, including microscopic ones, and that you'll end up with an infestation of booklice, spiders, and even praying mantis eggs in your living room. Where do I even begin? First of all, most of these bugs are harmless and pose no real threat. The idea of an infestation is pure sensationalism aimed at making you panic-buy a plastic tree.

Let’s break it down: sure, you might find a couple of dead insects or larvae hanging around the tree, but that’s hardly a reason to throw out an entire tradition. Spiders? Spiders eat pests, so congrats on having a free natural pest control service. As for praying mantis eggs, guess what? The trees have been stored in subzero temperatures after being harvested, and last time I checked, there were not a lot of mantids roaming the plains of North Dakota.

Also, the spotted lanternfly—while it’s true that this invasive species has made a few appearances in certain states—is hardly a nationwide issue. North Dakota isn’t even dealing with it yet! But let's not let facts get in the way of scaring people into buying their overpriced plastic trees, right?

3. The Environment Argument: Oh, Please

Now, the real kicker. The article claims that artificial trees are better for the environment after 8 or 9 years, but let's look a little closer at this convenient "environmental" claim. First, the whole point of buying a real tree is that it grows as part of a sustainable industry. Christmas tree farms actively work to preserve land, improve air quality, and provide habitats for wildlife. Real trees are renewable! You plant one, you cut one, and you plant more. It's literally a cycle.

Meanwhile, artificial trees are made of PVC plastic, which comes from fossil fuels and takes hundreds of years to break down. Sure, if you use it for 11 years (and let’s be real, that’s a stretch for most families), it might have a smaller footprint than a real tree. But that's assuming you ignore all the pollution involved in producing and shipping those things. Not to mention, once the fake tree's usefulness is over, it’ll probably end up in a landfill forever. So much for saving the planet.

4. Fire Hazard? Really?

The article warns about real trees becoming fire hazards if not watered properly. But, um, newsflash: if you can’t be bothered to water your tree, then maybe you shouldn't have one at all. That’s part of the fun—watering and caring for the tree, ensuring it lasts all month long. The real fire hazard is those pre-lit artificial trees. Ever heard of faulty wiring? There’s your actual fire risk right there.

If you can't be bothered to water a tree once a day, maybe you should be prohibited from having pets, children, or access to sharp instruments.

In fairness, there are SOME reasons why people can't or don't want real trees. Allergies, concern about curious pets and children, etc. If those are a real factor in your decision-making process, then I hope whatever tree you have, if you have one up, brings you an equal amount of joy as one felled in the woods.

Do yourself, your family, and the environment a favor this year: get a real Christmas tree. You’ll have a far better time than those corporate-sponsored plastic-tree advocates.